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At the mention of Maria’s name, a look came over my mother’s face. I have seen this look before. It was a look of concern, thoughtfulness, and sorrow. She was thinking, searching, for a way to break the news. She asked me if I remembered Maria’s children. The oldest daughter, Susie, had gotten married but the others were still at home. I assured her that I did remember Maria’s children and I braced myself for the news I did not want to hear. Maria’s youngest daughter had been killed in a car accident. My mother did not have all the details and had only heard about it the week before.

I was shocked, numb. I did not cry because I couldn’t believe it was true. I logged on to the Internet to search for information – for confirmation. I looked for hours. Finally, about 3 A.M., I found a lone newspaper article. It confirmed what my mother had told me.

Tony Jr, 19, had been driving the truck on November 10, 2000. The other kids, Brian, 10, Michelle, 15, and Crystal, 14, were in the truck with him. The police believe that around 10:45 P.M. Tony was speeding and lost control trying to turn a corner. The truck flipped over and hit a tree ejecting Crystal and Michelle. Tony, Brian, and Michelle suffered only cuts and bruises, but Crystal was killed.

I printed the article and left it upstairs for my mother.

I have been trying not to think about this tragedy for nearly a week. I have felt the need to write this but was afraid of the pain and tears that would accompany the words. As I write, the tears form in my eyes and ever so slowly begin to trickle down my face like a gentle rain.

I did not know Crystal very well. I had not seen her since she was 9 years old, but Maria is my friend. I cannot imagine the grief she must feel at losing a child. Though Crystal was 14 and nearly a woman, she was the youngest daughter and would always be their “baby girl.”

My tears fall uncontrollably now. It is no longer a gentle rain. Now it is a raging flood and the dam holding back my emotions has been washed away. The tears I shed are not for Crystal because I know she is safe in the arms of the Lord. My tears are for her family and friends who will miss her beautiful face and the joy she brought to their lives. My tears are for the pain and suffering her family is going through. I wish there was something I could say or do to ease their pain, but only time and faith in God’s promise can do that.

I ask God “Why?” Why Maria’s family? Why Crystal? I can only believe that Crystal has fulfilled God’s plan for her life and it was time for her to return to Him.

I bought a card today. I cried as read through the selection looking for the perfect card. Is there such a thing as the “perfect card” for an occasion such as this? It is hard to know what to say at a time like this and even harder to find a card to say it. The cards all seemed too phony, too impersonal, too uncaring. I cried because I needed to say something to Maria and I couldn’t find a way to say it. At last, I found a card. It wasn’t perfect but it said what I was unable to say. I cried again as I read it….

“Wishing God’s Comfort for You and Your Family”
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4”

“It’s difficult at such a time
To know what words to say,
But may God be with you always
To sustain you day by day”

Please, dear Lord, comfort and keep Maria and her family in this hour of great sorrow. Amen.

Maria, I love you. You are, and shall always be, my friend. I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. Please know that I am praying for you and I am here if you need me.

Krisann