Here are some of my
thoughts...it may encourage others:
Those who turn to this
site are more than likely devastated. It is written
for people who have lost loved ones and either found themselves
in a stronghold of ongoing despair or are trying desperately to
avoid one. Nothing is more normal and appropriate than
grief in response to the death of someone dear.
When I was told that my
child was dead it felt as though someone reached into my body and
ripped out my heart...I begged God to take me too. Every
nerve, feeling, emotion, and fear rose up like a tidal wave
engulfing my very being. My mind could not grasp the truth
of it. My body rejected it as I stood shaking and screaming
out to God: no Jesus, don't take my baby, I've accepted
everything in my life but I won't accept this...give her back to
me, give her back.
Something,
actually Someone, my precious Lord, took control and I began to
do what had to be done. My children had just lost a sister
I needed to be strong for them. The peace of God came over
me, I looked up and said: dear Lord, I gladly give you my
child, thank you for the privilege of being her mom. And
then like a rushing waterfall all the things I believed about God
began to pour forth. In my mind the answers were,"I
believe you are love. " I believe all things are
possible with you. I believe you are
merciful..." As the characteristics of God folded my
mind, a peace that passes all understanding filled my
being. His mercy Carry's me. When I feel that my life
can't go forward because my child is not here, I turn to the One
God that restores me. I have learned firsthand that His
mercy is sufficient. He prepared me in so many areas for
what was to come.
After all the ways He
had gone before me, I could not doubt His precious
love. I don't even want to imagine what life would be like
now if I had not known Jesus Christ personally and intimately
before Crystal was taken. With God all things are possible:
Even contentment as you face life without your
child...for the One who promises to never leave us stays
eternally. Praise be to my God.
Isaiah 43:1-2(NASB)
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by
name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I
will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow
you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be
scorched, Nor will the flame burn you."
Psalm 34:18(NABS)
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who
are crushed in spirit."
The Lord showed me how
to look for Him, and I saw Him at every turn. He was there,
as He had promised. He is here. | 
